Just Three Words
by amightylongstick0006
Summary: Oneshot. Tuon and Mat are about to be separated for longer than either of them are used to. Setalle has told Tuon what must be done... and most unusually, she's not entirely sure she's up to the task...


**Disclaimer:** Unfortunatley, I own nothing belonging to the Wheel of Time series.

**Authors Note:** I was bored and reading over Knife of Dreams, as you do. This is what happened when I started banging recklessly away at the keyboard. Without a doubt one of my favourite pairings (partly because Mat is definately one of my favourite characters), and in my opinion one of the most believable! Unlike some people and their mental foursomes... Sorry if it's badly written or anything, I didn't read over it too much...

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**Just Three Words**

It was the morning of the Band's journey far north. Tuon sat watching closely the items Matrim was choosing to pack into his large, mahogany chests. Temperatures were below freezing where he was heading; she had to ensure he took the necessary items. Tuon was aware how he liked to gamble with his health just as much as any soldiers coin. He wasn't being completely reckless though; he had managed to obtain a selection of the latest fashions in thick woollens and furs from the north already. She had to admire his taste when it came to clothes...

She remembered, feeling satisfied, the arrangement of leaves she saw yesterday. Matrim may think it superstition – although how he could with overwhelming evidence to suggest otherwise was absurd – but she knew better. The pattern and colour of them suggested good fortune in times ahead. This could quite easily be adapted to a successful journey for Matrim and his soldiers.

"You'll regularly oversee the bookkeepers of course?" she asked, arching an eyebrow at him. He had a habit of ignoring various duties. It was her duty to be the one to remind him.

He cocked an eyebrow at her, wearing a slight smirk, "How many years have I been commanding an army now?"

She ignored that, waiting for the actual answer. Surely he was aware of the duties he liked to shirk?

He grinned rather insolently at her when she continued to look at him, "But of course, Wife. I will regularly oversee the bookkeepers."

"The stocks will be checked daily?"

Matrim rolled his eyes, still grinning, "That too."

After a while he started humming while he was packing; as usual he didn't seem to notice he was doing so.

She had learned to recognise all these little tunes he was so unaware he came out with, and carefully avoided frowning when she realised which one it was. "Three pretty ladies" - talking about the tiresome endeavours women would send men on in order to make them prove themselves.

Unexpectedly though, Tuon felt a little pang as he continued to hum. It struck her that she would not hear his melodic humming for another 4 months at the least. The thought made her oddly sad. Putting the feeling aside to deal with later she returned to her original goal today.

It was only three words, but Setalle said relationships only function well if you both understand what you are to each other. Setalle was right about this sort of thing usually, whereas Tuon had to admit she was still learning. They had been husband and wife three years now and against all her expectations, she continued to find Matrim a confusing, though not entirely unpleasant, surprise.

Setalle insisted Matrim would appreciate hearing what she wanted to say to him today. Watching him stuff clothes and maps into a trunk – he wouldn't let someone else do it like a normal person – and flash a couple of roguish grins her way as he did so, she could not imagine him reacting correctly to what she wanted to say. He would make a joke or some such, like he always did.

She began to feel the same uncomfortable feeling she had felt when discussing this with Setalle. Setalle had actually laughed at her when she mentioned such a feeling, saying it was because Tuon was afraid of admitting this to Matrim.

Nonsense! Afraid was something associated with people not strong enough to do their duties; cowards. It was only three words and this was Matrim. He was her husband. It wasn't out of the ordinary to say this to ones husband. She could do it. In fact it was more obscure that she continued to not say it when she knew by now how she felt.

The idea of feeling so strongly towards anyone had once struck her as a thing of stories – how could anything make you go against everything you were in order to be with just one, probably replaceable, person – but... it had happened...

Again, she felt that strange pang as she thought of the months she wouldn't be there beside him. He could be such fool, after all. In a lot of respects he needed her greatly. It was logical for her to want to go... How often had she talked their way out of situations he'd landed them in... in fact, now she reluctantly thought about it, how many situations had he talked her out of as well. She had become so used to spending time around him, playing odd but fun games with him, observing him closely in all his strange habits, watching him take on so many different roles in a day it was a wonder he knew who he was at all.

Thinking hard, she grudgingly admitted she would especially miss the time they received alone together. In those moments, she almost felt she could say these three words and it wouldn't scare her at all – not that it did now, of course. She quickly stopped a thought that was straying dangerously close to their... activities...of the previous evening; she had actually cried out...several times...

Suddenly, Matrim was in front of her, holding that broad rimmed hat at his side. He had locked his chests and they were already being carried away from the room. He grinned suggestively down at her.

"A kiss goodbye, Tuon?"

She rolled her eyes, taking her time standing up and smoothing her skirts down. He didn't seem to be in the mood to wait though. He swooped down, lifting her off her feet, his arms encircling her tightly and kissed her so thoroughly all thoughts of what she was supposed to say flew from her mind... he was always seemed to steal every breath she had out of her...

Tuon took herself gently but firmly out of his arms after a while, trying to ignore her heart thumping loudly in her ears. This was it. The opportune moment. She had to say it now... with a vicious flash of jealousy she thought of all the other women he would meet - women liked him far too much sometimes. Saying this to him would have some hold on him, wouldn't it?

But even that wouldn't make her tongue work.

Matrim looked down at her for a long moment, his grin fading slightly.

"I'll miss you," he said simply, "A lot."

She nodded. This was ridiculous, she was not a child. Say it! It's only three words.

He rolled his eyes and grinned a little as if it was all he expected from her and turned smoothly away from her to leave the room.

It annoyed her that this one action of his – when he was not looking at her – meant she could finally say it. She truly was afraid. For whatever ridiculous reason. But, as calmly as she could, she held herself like the Empress she was and said clearly, "I love you, Mat."

There was silence.

She wondered, briefly, why she had used 'Mat', that odd short version he used that was not his name...

Matrim had wheeled around at once, his face expressionless. She ignored her insides which were jumbling around most unpleasantly, and concentrated on how he was staring at her – was it so out of place for her to say this? With a sinking feeling she realised it must have been to soon for this... Setalle had been wrong.

The silence stretched...perhaps she could leave? But his gaze pinned her to the spot. Not even a hint of a smile... This had to be the most awful moment she had ever been in... how could one man make her feel so unpleasant about herself!

And then, Matrim gave an odd grunt and said in a low, slightly awkward voice, "I love you, Tuon."

Tuon simply nodded again. It was all very surreal. She was aware this was the required response and yet she was not quite prepared for how the words made her feel. A warmth...a joyous warmth seemed to spread through her entire body as she registered the sincerity in his words.

They stood there, looking at each for an immeasurable amount of time, until there was a loud gong in the distance making them both jump and look to the window.

The armies were ready to march. He gave her a particularly mischievous grin. She couldn't help smile rather indulgently back. He looked like a child who'd just successfully stolen his favourite sweets without his mother's knowledge.

Bowing elegantly for her, he swept from the room, putting his hat on and taking his ashanderei from beside the door.

Tuon let herself drop back on to her chair, her knees giving way.

He was in love with her... she turned the idea over in her head and found she felt...contentedly satisfied.

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End file.
